This afternoon was interesting. We got through lunch with tears and fightin words but we got through. I once convinced myself I married hubby for his humor after his jokes today i've realized he is no comedian. He laughs at his jokes and Nic and I laugh at him for laughing at his jokes. Half of them he messes up the punch line or forgets the punch line or they just don't make any sense.

I can't believe Nic's still sleeping. I went in and put a heating blanket on her and her feet were hanging out of the blanket and rubbed my leg, they were as cold as ice. Scared me for a minute and I had to watch her for a second to be sure she was breathing.

Hubby's applying for medical leave for work, which will give him 90 days to be home and help. He can also start his next job which he has almost 2 years to finish and present for beta. He's just going to miss the wrap up of the last game.

I feel like im not being productive though I know I am. It almost feels like im taking care of a toddler all over again. The whining, crying, tantrums, sleeping, meal prep, monitoring. But the good parts are there too. The love support and care we're trying to provide.

I've told dad to keep his eyes open and alert for cutting, purging, hiding food and so forth. This illness is extremely sneaky. Nic's 2nd IP trip she was unsuccessfully discharged for non-compliance for putting food into her milk carton and purging in the bath AFTER she had gained superb levels in their care. It's things like that, it makes me realize I need to be on constant high alert. I hate to say it but a lot of times when Nic is too happy with eating it's because she's getting away with something else and it calms her ED thinking down and it compromises. I don't want to tackle one problem just to have another going on in the background. I do want to see her happy and if she genuinely is I will for one be suspicious but I will also be happy for her.

Finished dinner early and have to get Nic up in a little less than an hour. My fingers are crossed for another successful meal. No matter how long it takes.