ಒನ್ ಮೆಅಲ್ ಅಟ್ ಅ ಟೈಮ್

We finally got dinner eaten and it's 11:30pm. 6 hours! Tim went and got some work done from about 7-9 and sat with her from 9 til now. With Lupus sitting or laying down too long causes intense cramping and pain. My knees and hips feel like they've been stretched apart on a Rack. One of those torture devices. They strap people in ankles and wrists and tighten the ropes and so on. Too sore for a massage and I can't lay down. I did take a hot bath but that made it worse. I'm so tired and can't go to bed. Tim made me my favorite tea and tried to play me a song on guitar which was....interesting? :)

Once hubby came in at 9 we asked if she wanted a shake instead she said she wasn't hungry and was still too full from lunch to eat. Dad said "Well honey if you're too sick to eat maybe we should head to the ER" Nic didn't like that idea at all. After being informed that this was "bullshit" she settled on a soy shake with a "Fine!"

Tonight reminded me of when she was younger. She always hated touching food. On dirty dishes, sandwiches and she wouldn't eat finger food as a toddler. She's still the same way and she talked about it tonight a bit.

I am anxious to meet with the treatment team tomorrow. Tim's decided he's on board to do this at home so long as she starts gaining and eats. We figured she has 2 hours per meal to finish or we will A) take her to the hospital or B)Start discussing In-Patient options.

It's kind of hard establishing consequences because she's isolated herself from most everything she enjoyed before. I'm still kicking myself for this relapse. Looking back I should've known. But should've, could've, would've and that's not going to serve any purpose in getting her well.

I need to have a really good long hard cry. I'm going to look into therapy tomorrow. Taking my medication tonight so that hopefully the pain will ease a bit.




हम अंत में मिला और यह भोज खाया मानविकीवादियों के घंटे टिम चले गये और मिला बारे में से कुछ कार्य किया है और मामले से उनके साथ बैठ इफोक्ट्स अब बैठक के साथ नीचे सभापटल पर रखने या बहुत लम्बी कारणों तभी और तीव्र दर्द । घुटनों और कूल्हों महसूस करता हूं कि मेरे जैसे पृ रचा-बसा हुआ है वे जन्म-जन्मांतर पर एक पृथक होना । सूक्ष्म-तरंगों उन यातना में से एक है । चौड़ा कोड़ा टखने में वे लोग और कलाईयों और कसना रस्सियों और अत जारी है । बहुत अधिकता से मालिश करने के लिए एक और मॅँ कह सकता पृढूँढने निर्धारित करना । मॅँ ऐसा लेना चाहिए, लेकिन यह एक गर्म स्नान किया और खराब हो गयी है । अत मॅँ पृथके हुए हैं और कर सकता हूं पृ ढूँढने जाने से रोग-शय्या पर थीं