Feb 18, 2010
I am so glad to be out of bed for the most part! We are going to the cities for some shopping and a nice vacation for my nieces birthday in a few weeks. I am very excited. Nic has 15 days to get her eating back on track. Fingers crossed it's enough motivation. Who knows. Breakfast and lunch have gone very well since mom's back in the picture. We will see.
Nov 27, 2009
I'm absolutely exhausted. I finally found a therapist for myself I hope can help and I will be seeing her on Monday. I'm more in need of a sounding board than anything else. I don't want to spend each session educating her but I hope she will be accepting of a simple sum up. Tim and I talked tonight and we're going to do some counseling together on our own issues to hopefully be able to communicate better. Today was a very long day. We had to take Nic's NG out because she was getting nosebleeds which is not on the list of complications the doc gave me. I called ask a nurse and they said it was likely from dryness and irritation. She is eating well so we will see how that goes. If she's having trouble we'll go back to the hospital if she keeps doing well we'll keep pushing forward. I really need to sleep.
Bad Day!!!
We got Nic from the hospital around 3. Tim was irritated with the ng tube and going on about it. "Can't she just take it out while we're with family?" As if it's an unwanted fashion accessory. Nic apparently was given permission from her Dad to drink which didn't treat her well. Tim got completely drunk and disrespectful and then let me know that he "needed a break from all of the anorexia bullshit, and he couldn't handle it anymore. And no one listened to his opinions." So Nic and I made the very quiet very tense 2 hour drive back home. I'm so tired of this. I think Tim and I have been falling apart for years but I don't want Nic's relapse to be "the final straw" that's guilt she doesn't need because it wouldn't even be the true cause. Just an excuse for him I think. My life is taking a very strange turn and i'm tired of holding on for dear life waiting to see where it will end up. I can't seem to get a grip on anyone's choices to know what to expect next and nothing is even close to predictable right now. There's no way I can do this on my own. If this is it for Tim and I, Nic will have to go to treatment until I can sort a better plan. I just don't know. I am so tense and stressed. I hope he just needed to have a stress free night. I did call and he said we'd talk later. Maybe later means tomorrow maybe later means next month. I'm almost physically sick with all of this. I hope Tim comes around and understands he can't start drinking the way he does again. I just don't know. I need sleep. Nic got home and went straight to bed. I'm not sure if she's upset about the hospital stint or tonight. I don't know how i'll ever keep up with her without back up. Oh, I hope he comes home by tomorrow.
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